Interfaith marriage is the marriage between two people with different religions. In an Interfaith Marriage, both partners usually practice their respective religion.
This is different from a situation where one of the couple has converted to the religion of the other. Interfaith marriage may be a kind of "mixed marriage" , however, it is different from interracial and cross-cultural marriage (which are also known as "mixed marriage").
Couple in interracial marriage may share the same faith likewise couple from different cultural backgrounds. However, couple in interfaith marriage may share the same cultural and racial backgrounds.
Marriage is a formally recognized union of two people as partners. Usually we have differences as individuals, therefore, marriage in most cases comes with challenges and we need to make some sacrifices and have some level of understanding to overcome these challenges.
The challenges may be tougher when couple are not from the same religious backgrounds. Below are the things to know when planning an interfaith marriage.
•Understand your parents :
Parents, especially the more religious ones wouldn't like their children to go into an interfaith marriage, you need to understand that it's not because they are selfish or because they don't want you to be happy, they only want the best for you. Like I said, marriage comes with different challenges, why making it more complicated by adding religious difference? Even if the remaining option for you is that partner with different religion or you are already in the interfaith marriage, don't dislike/hate your parents because of their initial disapproval.
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• How contradictory is your religion with that of your partner?
Do you think your religions are complete word and opposite? Like totally different, if this is the case, perhaps you should have a second thought. If you can't really tolerate your partner's religion, why getting married to him or her? Stop now instead of making things more complicated. If you think your religions have the same foundation and you wouldn't really be bothered or affected by your partner's religion, that is better.
• Don't force your beliefs on your partner:
Be it before marriage or after, you don't need to force your belief on anyone not to talk of your partner, if your partner is willing to convert to your religion, that's different, but don't force them. I know of marriages where one party is forcing his/her religion on the other and when the spouse forcing the religion is not around the other person will practice his/her religion, what difference does it make? Isn't that deceit and pretence? Don't bring about another difficult issue when you think you are solving one.
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• Don't cut out family and friends :
No matter how your families and close friends feel about this, don't think of cutting them out of your life, there are times you could need them. Keep in mind that sooner or later, they will understand and work together with you guys.
• Would you like to have children?
Hmmm, this is really where the problem usually lies. If you are not planning to have children, believe me, the big part of the hurdle is out the way. You both do your religious thing as you please, come back together and continue loving up.
However, if you are planning to have children, you need to discuss how to bring the kids up in a Godly manner. Whose religion would you both prefer the children to inherit? Some religion like Islam permit muslims to have interfaith marriage but must raise the kids as Muslims, Catholic church also encourage parents to raise their kids as Catholic members.
In most cases, no one is willing to sacrifice the wish to transmit their beliefs to their children so that their partner can fully transmit theirs, but if you can talk this out, the most significant difficulty may be easily overcome.
The most advisable thing is that both partners should practice their respective religion and allow their kids decide which way to go in term of religion.
• Don't give your children negative comments or bad impression about your partner's faith :
Children will grow up to ask lots of questions, although you need to know some fundamental things about your partner's religion. If they ask you what you don't know about your partner's faith, direct them to the partner. Don't paint his/her religion black for the children.
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• Don't allow external pressures to have negative impact on your marriage:
Not everyone is strong enough to withstand social reactions, talk about social reactions and how you both will handle it when it arise. You or your partner may become less or more religious, when this happens, don't allow any external pressure from your religion side to damage the good relationship between you and your partner. You must have a mind of your own right from time.
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• Expect changes in your plan :
Just like I said in the other point above, life is not static and human being are prone to metamorphosis. What if your partner becomes less or more religious? Prepare for change. Don't ignore the religious differences right from the beginning and be ready for changes in your plan. I'm not saying your partner will change but what if he or she changes? What if you are even the one that change? How are you going to handle it in the family?
• Enjoy your relationship with your partner :
You don't need to worry, enjoy your relationship, especially if you are already married, have fun as much as you can while working on your marriage, your interfaith marriage could be wonderful if the right path is followed, and you know what? The world could be a more better place with interfaith marriage.
All that being said, according to research, couple perform better when they have many things in common, which include religion.
Research also reveals that couples in interfaith marriages are on average, less happy than same-faith couples.
Therefore, if you can avoid it, do. However, if you can't, because I understand some people can't avoid it, due to some circumstances like late marriage, society factors (perhaps people that practice your religion in your society are few) and others.
If what's stated above is the case, you can go on but you have to accept the differences and be ready to work on it, you mustn't ignore the differences. Working on relationship is no big deal, every relationship require some level of effort. Be happy with your partner, you know why you did it, stand on that reason and don't consider external factors, pressures or influences.
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Interfaith Marriage have some benefits which include :
• Becoming more Tolerant.
• It's likely you have positive impression about the other faith.
• The family have more festival celebrations which could turn out to be more fun.
• You become mild in term of belief which could bring peace to the society.
• If interfaith marriage is often practiced, the world itself would become more peaceful because irrespective of religion, there would be real love among humans.
Related : All you need to know about cross-cultural marriage
Social class in marriage
Education in marriage
Genotype : types and compatibility
Rhesus factor and incompatibility
The ideal age gap for a lasting marriage
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